When speaking the truth to someone what place does grace play if any?

The Apostle John tells us that Jesus was “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Think about that for a moment and you will realize they are opposites. Truth hurts while grace is warm and fuzzy, the loving-kindness we all like. Jesus was able to hold those two opposites in perfect balance. Our goal is also to hold them in balance. If one majors only in truth to the exclusion of grace, they will become legalistic and rigid thus missing many of the joys of life. On the other hand, if one majors in grace, they tend to show only loving kindness overlooking the truth that is violated. After doing this so often, they can easily find themselves off the path of righteousness.

Truth can hurt. Grace overlooks error and accepts a person as she/he is. If someone walks up to you and says your deodorant has failed and you stink. That hurts, even if it is true. If it is handled in grace, it would probably leave off the word “stink” and be done only by someone who has earned the right to speak frankly with you. It would also be done in a private place and may even be couched in different language all together and remain truthful. Proverbs 25:11 says, “a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”  That’s not a bad formula.

Spiritual maturity is characterized by one who is capable of “speaking the truth in love…” (Ephesians 4:15). That is another way of saying “keep your balance between truth and grace.”

Truth is always received best from people you know love you and have spent some time building a relationship with you. Jesus speaks the truth about our sin, but holds out the offer of grace simultaneously with it. Perhaps you remember the “sandwich method”. When presenting the truth, begin with a compliment, state the truth, then repeat the compliment or add a different one.

Just one other thought. Most people’s shortcomings are very closely related to a strength of character. If you can identify the strength, you have the material for a genuine compliment when using the “sandwich method”.

-David Corts